Tag Archives: Fighting

Piano Lessons

3 May

For most of my life, I have taken piano lessons. The first time I ever touched a piano was when I was 6; I started lessons when I was 8. In all honesty, when my parents asked if I wanted to play an instrument, what I really wanted to play was the guitar. But my mom is a classical music fan, and persuaded me to choose the piano. Thus, began my long, tear-filled journey of piano lessons.

I am not a fan of classical music. At all. I’m a through and through Country gal. Looking back, taking guitar lessons would have made a lot more sense. But at the time, I was quite easily persuaded. My first teacher wanted his students to enjoy what they were playing. So technique-wise, I learned nothing. After 3 or 4 years, I stopped with him, and got a different teacher. This new teacher is the one I blame for the tears.

He was young and strict and moody. By the end of every lesson, I would be in tears. Tears that I fought hard to control, but it was a losing battle from the start. I was (and still am) an extremely sensitive person, and his insults did nothing to help my growing hatred of the piano. Even when he praised me on a piece well played, all I could hear were “I have students younger than you who can play better” and “You will never be good at this”. My mom was no help either. “If you’d practice more, you’d get better”, “You can’t play with friends until you practice the piano. He said you have to practice at least 3 hours every day” and “Stop wasting money”. ┬áTo be fair, I did learn a lot about how to play the piano when I was with him.

To any sane person looking in, the solution would be simple. If you hate it so much, and if it causes so many fights (every single fight I have ever had with my parents stems from the piano), why don’t you just stop? The answer? Because I can’t. It has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. As much as I hate it, I can’t let go. It is a part of who I am, and if I stop, I too, will die. It seems overly dramatic. But it’s true. It has become such a huge part of me that if I were to stop, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

I found a new teacher, and have been with him for almost a year. I enjoy it, but slowly, the fights are starting again. Things as simple as my dad refusing to drive me (it takes close to 2 hours to get there by public transport) to (once again) the “fact” that I am “wasting money”. Whether I like it or not, piano lessons have become a part of me, and I know that it will continue to be until the day I die, whether it be soon or a long time away. That, I do not know, but what I do know is that I can never stop.

 

perfectlonelyworld

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